Thursday, December 8, 2011

Peter's Story.

I know I know, it's a little late. I mean he turned 6 months today! 6MONTHS!!! I blinked and he's almost sitting up all by himself. He's tried rice cereal, bananas, and peas. He's not a fan of any of it, but seems to tolerate the cereal best. He will not take a bottle unless there's water in it. He loves rattles and his bird toy. For the past half year Peter has been the cause of many many many hours of lost sleep and frustration, but he has also been the primary cause for joy and laughter. He is SUCH a social boy. He's happiest when being held, played with and loved on. It works out well that he has plenty of people in his family who love to give him that attention. As hard as he's been I wouldn't trade a single second of the past 6 months for anything. As time passes, memories fade and I wanted to record the story of Peter's birth before I forget too much.

Peter's story actually begins with the birth of Sophie. While I was in the hospital with her I kept thinking to myself, "I only have to do this one more time." One more time checking in to have a baby, one more epidural, one more delivery. It was actually really bothering me. I was fighting with myself the whole time, "Will you just shut up?? Concentrate on this. Forget the future, just focus on THIS time." I was able to tuck these thoughts away for a while. Shane was happy with our family the way it was. I felt bad, but I never forgot those feelings in the hospital with Sophie. I knew we had one more to go, and I wasn't ready to talk with Shane about it yet.

Over a year went by and my good friend Melissa had a baby. She wrote a beautiful little post about her family being "all together now"
"With Mason's arrival, we're All Together Now. And when we're working, we work all together now. When we play, we play all together now. With this blog, our stories and photos are all together now. And what we are striving for is to be able to say, in the hereafter, that once again we're all together now, and forever."

Well, I read this and felt such an amazing confirmation that it was time for my family to be all together again. I've never been nervous about telling Shane when I want to have another baby, and I wasn't really nervous about doing it this time. Maybe a tiny bit apprehensive. I knew he would be supportive and I knew that deep down he knew there was one more as well. But I also knew that it would take a lot of faith for him to get comfortable with the idea of jumping from 4 to 5 little ones.

Needless to say things went my way :) and when I was about 8 moths pregnant Shane said to me, "I think I'm finally excited about this little one."

I had my first braxton hicks with Peter when I was only 20 weeks. It freaked me out. I thought it was way too early, but my doctor said that it's actually very common for women to experience them early when they are pregnant with any number after 4. When I was 6 months I started having real contractions. They weren't painful, but they were very consistent. Every night between about 7 and 10 or 11 when I went to bed I would experience contractions. The further along I progressed the stronger they became and I had a couple of scary nights around 32 weeks when I didn't think they would stop and I was going to have my baby way too early.

I have never experienced misery like I did while being pregnant with Peter. I was so uncomfortable, swollen, tight. Just breathing was hard let alone take care of my 4 other children who needed me and didn't like for me to take naps (Logan.). I had horrible headaches, was in the bathroom 24 times a day, couldn't sleep. My arms and hands went numb all night and were very painful all morning every morning. It was just awful and I began hoping I would have the baby early. I was around 35 weeks when I started hoping we would just go ahead and get it over with! The only thing getting me through my days and weeks left was the fact I knew I would NEVER have to do this again.

When the night finally did come we ended up having to call our good friends the Watts. She was wonderful and came over at 1 in the morning to stay with my kids and then take them all day until my mom arrived from Utah.

They checked me right away when I got to the hospital and I was at a 6 and 60% effaced! But they baby was still very very high. They wanted to measure my contractions and the second I got hooked up to the monitor the contractions stopped. Completely. I was devastated until they assured me I wasn't going anywhere even if the contractions had stopped. I got out of bed and walked around, and bounced on the birthing ball, all in hopes of starting the contractions again and bringing the baby down. When the doctor came in an hour later to check, she announced I was at an 8! My heart leaped and my stomach turned knots. On one hand I was completely excited that I was going to experience a magical birth with no pain!!! On the other hand an 8, I always thought, was too far along for an epidural. The baby was still too high. I wanted the doctor to break my water because that's all it takes for me to get going. They started me on PIT instead because the doctor was afraid the baby was too high and would come down too fast or something, I didn't really understand. Even with PIT nothing was really happening. When my own doctor came in the morning he expressed his concerns, which were many. I just kept hoping he would say he'd break my water. He did and upped the dose of medicine. This was right before 8 am. He also said I wasn't at an 8 but still at a 6. What? Weird. But it helped him feel much better about things. Things started getting very painful very quickly, honestly even with an epidural I don't know how it could have hurt worst. Again, the only thing that got me through was the fact that I knew this was the VERY LAST time doing this. I was gratefully surprised by how Shane seemed to know exactly what to do and how to act. I guess after 4, he was an expert. He was really great and I needed his support to help me cope. 3 hours later it was time. The doctor came and wanted me to push. I did and I heard a "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop pushing!" Was he serious? 10 seconds later, "Okay, now give me like half a push." Half a push? What's half a push? Okay.... and out came Peter. "It's a boy!" they announced and Shane and I were not surprised in the slightest. Peter. Peter William. He was here. Finally.

I was a mess. I've never felt so relieved in all my life. From the instant release of pain and from the realization that I was DONE. Since living together and loving eachother in heaven, my family was here. We would live and love together again. There are few greater blessings than having your family who knows you and loves you and will stay with you always. And now, with Peter, my family is complete. Forever.


Natalie said...

Marie, you are amazing. What a wonderful story. I am so happy that your family is all here together forever. What lucky kids to have such an amazing mamma!!!

Melissa said...

Closure. It's a beautiful thing. I am so glad you are all together now, and thanks for the sweet reference. You have such an awesome family; you Gebs always make me smile. Thanks for sharing this story!

Steph and Zach said...

I am happy for you that you are DONE! And happy we have one more Gebs child to love!

Jen said...

Beautiful story and a beautiful boy.