Thursday, June 18, 2009

Is that POOP?

The following story contains some disgusting information: Reader discretion is advised.



Every parent knows that face… the face that strikes fear straight to your heart and causes a frenzy in the moments that sub sequentially follow. The face I’m speaking of, ladies and gentlemen, is that of a potty training toddler about to poop all over the place.

I’ll start from the very beginning, a very good place to start.

I was visiting with a friend of mine and she was telling me about what a hard time she had getting her potty training toddler to go numero dos in the toilet. She said they were cleaning up spots so much so that her and her husband called them dates. On their hands and knees spot cleaning their poor carpet talking and laughing together. (Ohhhh I know how cute it sounds!) I thought how lucky Shane and I have been that we haven’t had to clean up colossal poop messes while potty training. Oh, we have had accidents in the car, bathtub, outside, but fortunately all the accidents (with the exception of bathtub) have been contained inside the underwear and pants. All accidents that is until last Sunday night.

Our Logan has done shockingly well with his potty training. It really has almost been a pleasure teaching our 2 ½ year old son how to use the “big boy toilet”. He has had his misfortunes, but nothing out of the ordinary and nothing that was too problematical in fixing. We were feeling like champions! Until one Sunday night it all changed.

We had been waiting for and encouraging a poo-poo trip to the bathroom with Logan, consequently he was running around sans underwear. I should have known that wasn't a wise thing to do. He went a tiny bit in the toilet earlier in the day. I should have known then. We heard Brandon yell’ “EWWW is that poop???” There was a small drop on the offender’s leg. I should have known then. Shane asked “Did Logan poop on the floor?” Again a tiny drop and again, I should have known then!!! I go merrily on my way throughout the next 15 minutes and decide Sophie needs to be fed. While I am feeding her, rendering me helpless to any situation that occurs within the home - emergency or not, I see the face which has been aforementioned.

“OH NO! SHAAAAAANE!!!!!!!”

Shane sees the face as well and immediately springs into action. He jumps up, grabs Logan under the armpits, and rushes to bathroom as fast as he can go. Unfortunately it’s too late as Logan is dropping poop bombs all the way to the bathroom.

I hear a “Oh SON!” followed by a small crash (Shane slipped barefoot on one of the bombs) Lindsay, upon hearing all the commotion rushes to see what’s happening and steps right into one of the droppings, squishing it all in between her toes. Of course she does whatever any 5year old girl would do in a situation like this… she sits down and starts sobbing with a simply horrified look on her face. Brandon has by now come to check up on the situation and begins gagging and not only can he not stop gagging, he can't stop looking at the scene that is making him gag. And where is mom during this one minute episode? Sitting on the couch, where she was when it all began, laughing uncontrollably.

After the kids and Shane were all cleaned up the kids were sent upstairs and told NOT to come down lest another poopey toes incident occur. So, as it turns out Shane and I did get our poop scrubbing date after all. There were 10 poop spots in all… so it was a nice LONG date.

13 comments:

Erica said...

Oh my! That is a story and so well captured.

Steph and Zach said...

Oh too funny! I was literally laughing out loud while I was reading. As a nurse I can appreciate the poo stories!

Cami said...

Holy Smokes Marie!! That was an awesome story! Thanks for sharing. I was seriously laughing with tears running down my face. I had my husband come to read it also. (I tried to read it to him, but couldn't finish due to uncontrollable laughing) I am knocking on wood that something so memorable doesn't happen to us. . . . may the forces be with you!

Natalie said...

Oh my gosh. That is hilarious! Just think of all the fun things we have ahead of us. :)

Kathrin Paul said...

This story is so so so funny. Love it.

Crazy Beth said...

Poop bombs....HEEEEHEEE oh man that was too good! That story just made my whole day...I can picture it and it's classic! Thanks for sharing! heeeheeeeeehee

Micaela said...

Oh I am laughing SO HARD!!!!! Thank heavens we haven't had poop bombs yet - just the poop painting.

Corinne said...

You are so cute. You always brighten my day with your sense of humor. I have had to clean poop out of the carpet before, but unforunately for me I could not call it a date.

Tyson and Angela said...

That is an AWESOME story! It is one that you can't help but not smile or laugh at. It was a much needed laugh! Thank you for sharing and...well...I am so sorry. That is disgusting! :)

The Cox Family said...

Ok- that situation should not make me laugh, but how you put it was hilarious! I am so sorry you had to spend a "date" cleaning up poop!

Beckie said...

That was the best story I've heard in a long time! Thanks for brightening my day! I needed it! Hopefully I will talk to you soon! Beckie

The Rich Family said...

Oh my gosh!! What a story! I am so looking forward to this....NOT!!!

Dwynne said...

Laughing and laughing and laughing....woo!